Broken
by Sugarbear16
Summary: What if Beckett would have called Castle when she was falling part? What could have happened? (One Shot set during KillShot).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a one shot that takes place durning the events of KillShot. Just a little random thought I had last night while watching the episode again. Hope you all like it. And have great Easter Weekend to anyone who will celebrate it. **

The honking of a car horn, the closing of a door; every damn sound the city made was putting her on edge tonight. She was scared. Scared to be in her own home. What had her life come to? When did this happen? She had never been scared to be on her own. Hell half the time she liked being alone better then being around others. She downed another shot of her vodka and tried to drown the pain. She tried to let the world fade away. She was not successful.

Three hours later she found herself sitting in the corner, with her gun laid beiside her. The empy bottle of Vodka on the floor and shattered glass. She looked down and saw the cuts on her arms where she had crawled through the glass; or at least that is what she thinks. Her head hurts her memory is fuzzy in thanks to her bright idea to drink her pain away. Well it didn't work. She only hurts more now then she did before.

She grabbed her phone from the table, what was left of the table, and without hesitation dialed his number. Two rings was all it took for him to pick up.

"Beckett. What is wrong?" Castle asked his voice laced with concern. He glanced down at his watch. Tonight he had been up late writing trying to get the next chapter of his book done; but he knew something had to be really wrong for Beckett to call him at this hour of the night.

She didn't reply she couldn't form words right now to tell him what she needed to tell him that she needed him right now more then ever. She wanted to beg him to come over, to help her fix her or what was left of her. How do you ask someone to save you; when you can't even save yourself? She wondered.

"Kate." He tried again.

"Castle...I." She tried, she tried with all she had to ask for what she needed.

"I am on my way." He said ending the call before she had the chance to protest. Kate nodded her ok; even though she knew he couldn't see it. She thanked the Gods or whoever it was up there that he knew her so well. He knew that she needed him, and she imagined he knew she didn't know how to ask for help either.

Kate sat with her knees to her chest waiting and waiting. What would she tell him when he got here? What would he think when he saw her like this? The thougths kept taking over her mind and driving her insane. She covered her ears with her hands as if she thought that this would somehow make these questions in her mind go away. No such luck. Tick tick, tick, every freaking second the clock ticked it made her that much more fearful. She lost track of the time, she lost track of everything except the sound of pounding on her door and the repeat of her name over and over again falling from his lips. After the sixth time of calling out to her; Castle used the spare key he knew of and opened the door. The hell with it she can be mad later right now he wanted to make sure she was alright.

When Castle saw the shattered glass in the living room his heart nearly stopped beating. Then he saw her. Kate. His Kate, well not really but; to him she was. She was sitting in the corner, with her head burried in her hands. Jesus what the hell happened to her; she looked terffied. Castle got down on his knees and reached out to touch her hand. "Kate, what happened?" He asked.

For the first time since he had entered the house she lifted her head and looked at him. "Me. I happened." She said. The tears streaming from her eyes, the horrifed look on her face nearly broke him right there.

"Alright. Come on lets get you out of this mess." He said as he grabbed her gently by the arms and forced her to stand. She didn't aruge or fight and this was not a good sign. Most anyone else it would be; but the fact she was going a long without a fight or arguement told him just how bad this was. He led her down the hall to her bathroom and pushed her to sit down gently on the edge of the bathtub.

He moved around the room like he had been here before, like her home was somewhere he knew well. However this was not the case at all. He reached out for her right arm, the one that was blood stained from her run in with the glass all over the apartment floor. Gently he cleaned her arm. She closed her eyes when she felt his fingers trace the cuts that now marked up her otherwise flawless skin. She bit her lip to try and keep herself calm.

"You are very good at this." She said trying to distract herself from what it his touch feels like on her very senistive skin.

"Lots of practice. Alexis was a clumsy child we got lots of scraped knees growing up. Tell me if I am hurting you." He said when she noticed she was chewing on her lip.

"It dosen't hurt. I am so sorry I am such mess." She said.

"Hey, its ok."

"How? How is this ok? How am I ok? I am broken." She says sadly.

"Just because you are broken dose not mean you can't be fixed. Some of the most beautiful things in this world have been broke and repaired at some point in time. Why should you be any different? He said as he wrapped her arm in a bandage.

"You think I am beautiful?" She asked.

"A blind man could see your beauty."

"You make no sense."

"You will understand tomorrow."

"What is tomorrow?"

"The day you haven't been drinking." Castle says as he helps her to stand again. "Where are you taking me now?" She asked.

"To bed and no not like that before you even have the chance to snap out a comment." He says with a smile.

"That's too bad."

"Ok, now I know you are drunk. Let's go." He said as he led them down the hall towards her room.

Once they had finally made it to her room; Castle pulled the blanket back and mangaed to get Kate in her bed. Once she was finally still he covered her up and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. Castle took one last look at her. He had almost made it to the door when Kate turned to hm; "Castle."

"Yeah?" He asked turning back to her.

"Stay with me please?" She asked.

"I am staying I was just going to clean up your mess."

"No. Stay with me here." Kate said as she moved over to the middle of the bed. "Would you just hold me?" She said softly.

Castle took his jacket off and made his way over to the bed. He sat down on the bed and laid back against the headboard. He reached one arm out for her; Kate moved over and laid her head down on his chest. "Hey Castle, thank you." Beckett said.

"Always." He replied.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: After several suggestions to add more to this one shot I decided to give you all what you want. Here is another chapter. Hope you all like this one too and tell me what you think please. Thank you for taking your time to read and review it for me. **

She was warm and safe. Safe? When did that happen she hadn't felt safe since...well since she had taken a bullet to the heart. The sun beamed in from the window, sun wait when did the sun come up? I slept all night, she said to herself. This had been the first time in a long time that she had slept all night without waking up to some god awful form of a nightmare. Thump, thump, she heard the steady reassuring rythm of a heartbeat; only it wasn't her heart she was hearing.

Beckett yawned and slowly started waking from her peaceful slumber. When she opened her eyes she found that her head was resting on Castle's chest; well that explains the heartbeat she thought to herself. Her body stired as she struggled to sit up a bit. The first movements of her body made Castle tense against her. She noticed this; as well as the horrible pounding of her head right now due to last nights drinking activites.

Kate looked up to be met with his alluring blue eyes stairing into her own. "Good morning. How is the head?" He asked her.

"Hurts like hell." She admitted.

"Well that's what tends to happen when you down an enitre bottle of vodka alone." Castle said.

"Right." Kate said sadly.

The tension in the room was almost unbareable. Neither one of the partners were really sure what to say to the other. After a few minuets Kate shot up out of the bed and rushed towards the bathroom. Ten seconds later Castle was hot on her trail. He knew after the amount she had chosen to drink last night that she was going to have hell to pay for it this morning; and he was right. He paused, and leaned up against the door frame of the bathroom.

"Go away." She mumbled.

"No." He said.

"Please Castle, you don't need to see this." She all but begged.

Castle pushed himself of the door frame and made his way fully into the bathroom. He stood behind her and gathered her hair in his hands, "I have had a pregnet wife before and a baby; this is nothing I haven't seen." He explained to her.

After Kate was sure that she didn't have anything left to throw up; she sat back and rested her back against the tub. "Remind me to never drink again." She grumbled.

"How about you get you a nice hot shower, and I will make us something to eat. Plus I have just the cure for that hangover missy." He said.

"I can't move." She whined.

"You Dectective Beckett are absouletly adroable when you whine." He said as he pulled her to her feet. Kate stood up cautiously testing her balance and her stomach. She backed up and leaned herself against the sink. Castle pulled the shower curtain back and turned the water on for her. When he was satisfied with the water he turned his attention to Kate.

"Now are you going to get in or am I going to have undress you as well; because I would be more then happy to help."

"I am sure you would." She said with a smile.

"I will be in the kitchen if you need me." He said before shutting the door and leaving her to get herself cleaned up.

Kate sighed and shreded her clothes as she climbed into the warm water of the shower. She stood with her back to the wall as she let hot water wash away some of the hangover. She closed her eyes as she remebered what it felt like this morning waking up in Castle's arms. She loved the way his heart was beating steady, she loved the feel of his arm wrapped around her waist, she loved it all. She sighed, great this is just what I need right now she said to herself. The realzation that she was in love with him hit her finally.

Twenty minuets later she was showered and dressed; and making her way to the kitchen. "Hey here drink this." Castle said sliding a glass of nasty looking gunk in her direction.

Castle turned around and the sight of her nearly knocked the air from his lungs. She had her still wet hair down, she wore a simple pair of jeans and a blank tank top. He knew she didnt't have to work today; but still. Kate leaned arcoss the table and grabbed the glass. Castle watched her closely. His eyes were automatically drawn to the scar the rested in the center of her chest. Kate sat back down on her side of the table. "What the hell is this?" She asked.

She noticed Castle was not paying no attention to her, she tried to catch his eyes; then all of a sudden she knew what he was doing. She looked down at her chest and self-continuosly pulled her shirt up to cover it. Castle reached over the table and took her by the wrist. "Don't. Don't be ashamed of it." He said letting go of her hand.

"I am sure not proud of it." She said sadly.

"You should be. Not many people can say they were strong enough to withstand a bullet to the heart; but you were and you have the scar to prove it." He said.

"Scars." She corrected.

Castle arched his eyebrow at her in a confused manner. "When I flaltlined they had to cut me to let the blood out of my lungs it was drowning me. So I have surigcal scar to go with the bullet wound." Kate said. Kate leaned back in the chair she was sitting and grabbed the bottom of her shirt. She pulled it all the way up to reveal her scar to Castle.

"We all have scars Kate, that is nothing to be ashamed of. Insted of looking at is as weekness look at is as strenght. Let it show you how far you have come, the challenges you have faced; don't let it destroy you let it drive you." He explained.

"That is easy to say when you are not the one carrying around the scar. Everyday when I look at myself in the mirror that is all I see. It reminds me of how failed." She admitted.

"Then you need a new mirror. Because when I look at you I don't see that at all." He replied.

Kate crossed her arms over her chest and bit her bottom lip. She hesitated for a moment, then deicded she needed to know. "Tell me Castle, what do you see then?" She questioned.

Castle was terrffied to tell her what he saw; but he knew that now more then ever she needed to hear it, she needed to know. Gathering every bit of courage that he currently possessed he said, "Everything. I see everything when I look at you. I see this stuborn woman who dosen't stop at anything to acheive what she wants. You are fearless, you are driven and your unstopable. You build these walls around you not to keep others out; but to keep yourself in. Because you're afraid that if you let them down for one second someone is going to get inside and change your life forever; and you don't know if you are ready for that or not. I see my partner, my best friend, and..." He paused.

Kate leaned foward on the table; she was waiting, praying that he would say what she thought he would say. "That you what?" She asked.

"That I love." He whispeared.

Kate reached her hand acorss the table and took his. "I have been waiting for you say that." She replied.

"You love me?" He asked.

"Of course I do. Why do you think I called you? I turst you Castle more then I have ever trusted anyone; and that scares me."

"Don't be scared. I am here I am always going to be here Kate, no matter what." He explained.

"What happens next?" Kate questioned.

"Well I would really like to kiss you now." He said.

"I would like that too." She said.


End file.
